For many, a wedding day will involve the indulgance of a top class hotel, fine foods and wine, comfort and luxury. For other, a hardy crew of alternative creatives there is a route that many are daring to tread, where the do-it-yourself ethic is king, where crazy ideas and inspired dreams are made a reality.
This year and next I will have the pleasure of being the photographer so a few such weddings; anything from the small personal touches to a hotel wedding, right to the mad capped festival-style lawn ceremony affair.
Last year me and my best pal Kazoo were married. We took a deep breath and went 100% the alternative route. It was a gamble, it involved a lot of hard work and commitment and the odd wee scrap!
I hope with this wee post I can act perhaps as an advisor, and will be able to enlighten some of you cats that might be willing to give the hair brained DIY alternative madness a go. Vision and action are vital.
LOCATION
First and foremost you will need a place to have this wedding. Be it a barn, a field, a mountain top, anywhere. The National Trust even host weddings at some of their many treasured locations around the land, the Ulster American Folk Park or the Mussenden Temple being 2 popular venues. We searched our countryside and our brains to find somewhere cool, convenient and amazing. It took a few false starts til we found 'the one', via a friend of the family to whom we will eternally grateful. We then hired a marquee to house our wedding ceremony and a nearby barn to hold the evening function. Our wedding day was called a 'wedding festival' from the very start - on our invites we encouraged folk to wear flowers in their hair, wellies on their feet, and come laden with picnics and beverages.
CEREMONY AND LEGALITIES
We got married legally on a Wednesday in the Guildhall with 2 buddies and our daughter as witnesses. It took 15 minutes - no one knew of this. We had an ipod with a few wee songs to add a bit of atmosphere and signed our papers and read our vows. Although it was quick and in an office it was emotional and there were tears flowing. In the eyes of the law we were now married and free to do what we pleased regarding our 'official wedding ceremony'. That evening we drove our campervan with a takeaway from the Sushi Bar to the Griannan Fort and popped a bottle of bubbly. My good buddy Chris took some wee fun black and white photos on his i-phone (these now make up the opening spread of our wedding album).
WEDDING PREPARATIONS
On our kitchen wall we had an A1 sheet of paper with a list of ideas and 'things to do'. This included many 'absolute necessities'
*portaloos
*band (we had a main band -Thumping Jellyfish, and a few other acts to fil up the day including my father/brother/niece's outfit Triglunna, my good buddy Monty Cash, my uncle Big Aggie did stand-up comedy, and my borther did his Indie Delights disco)
*DJ and mp3 mix
*good photographer (the best we could find)
*registrar/priest type figure
*make up artist - Vixen in Carndonagh transformed our girls into princesses!
*catering - we used a local company called 'Happy Hen' who bent over backwards to provide us with plenty of dishes met and vege, and did it all with a smile on their faces
*and all the regular wedding stuff - transport, suits, dresses, flowers
and many other 'ideas' and 'decor'
*flower garlands (gathered from a friends' garden that morning)
*wild flowers (gathered from the roadside that morning)
*home made booze - thanks to our good buddy Nick
*video - again our good buddy Chris filmed parts of our day on his phone using the ultra retro 'Super 8' app.
*children's play area - a convered stable with sheets of astro turf on the group and a load of toys
*a sweet shop - another stable with a lorry load of Maine mineral, 10p crisps, Wham bars and all those retro treats
*extra booze for those that run out
*sound system and mics for speeches and music
*miles of bunting for the rafters and the roofs - home made goodness by my wife Karen
*miles of carnival lights and streamers - sourced online
*skateboard ramp - built to be portable with my hero and good buddy Mini brown
*street games - plenty of swingball, football and what have you.
*seating - we used hay bales for seating, £2 each from some dude in the farming game
*tables and seating - a good friend at the YMCA lent us a load of collapsable seats and tables
*outdoor benches - we found a load of those massive wodden spool things you find at electrical places (like a 5 ft high wooden spool) and painted them up for picnic benches
This 'to do' list never got any smaller, once we had something crossed off there was usually a few things to add on! So my advice is to delegate what you can, use your people resources and don't stop believing - this is where it gets tough. There is a lot of hard work involved.
GUESTS
Due to limited space we could only invite a small number of guests. This is usually the most stressful part of organising a wedding, many people have told me the same. Unfortunately we could not have had as many people around us, but we had to be strict and get it done. It can be awkward and you do feel lousy, but that is life. We had 100ish , we squeezed them into the marquee and into the barn - it was tight, but cosy.
ACCOMODATION
Our guests weer invited to stay in tents in a nearby field, or local hotels, houses and B and Bs, which we researched. All this info was printed and mailed with our invitations, as well as maps and general info. Local taxi co.s were put on high alert!
THE REST
We worked for a solid 10 days to prepare for this, our friends and familes were amazing and supported the cause. Our evening meals usually held at Abrekebabra in Buncrana usually took place at 12 midnight. There was a lot of hype in our extended circle of friends, facebook was alive with myth and tale of what we had in store. We were nervous about taking this leap of faith, we feared folk might not embrace it like we'd dreamt, we feared the weather, we had 'dark nights of the soul' when it all seemed to overwhelm, but we had each other for comfort and plenty of positive souls all around us to keep the fires alight.
THE RESULT
I'll add a piece of narrative I wrote shortly after my wedding to fill you in on the actual day itself
http://jaydohertyphotography.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/notes-from-diy-altar.html
CONCLUSION
Despite the worst weather the Donegal skies could hurl our way, and so much hard work I can honestly decalre aloud that our wedding day was the most exciting experience, it was so fulfilling and so good for the soul - only the birth of our daughter could top it as far as life experiences go. I believe many of our guests would agree, we had such good feedback from all.
I remember the moment when we returned form the beach after going for our photos. Back to the barn where the guests had gathered. We had been nervous that people would have been cold, bored, freaked out, hangry, or just plain baffled - but that was all unwarranted - inside we were greeted by a sight of almighty social interaction - folk were going for it hard, the craic could have been measure on the richter scale - what a feeling of relief and pure joy ! My brother prayed for hush and introduced us as the new Mr ansd Mrs Doherty -what a noise, the place went bananas. We squeezed hands so tightly and made our way through 100 raving fans, 5 fives, hugs and kisses - total success.
. At home we have the most amazing wedding album, bursting at the seams with images of pure fun and love (thanks to our super photographers Leo and Kirsty) - we don't talk of the weather and rarely think of the hard work now, just the stories and memories from this amazing time in our young lives. Perhaps you hope to try a smiliar venture or know of a friend who does. It would be great to know that these words might be of some help or motivation.
Live your dream !!
Jay
**a wee video from our DIY wedding experience below
https://vimeo.com/52687918
